Sharon Osbourne "I'm tone deaf"

Manager of crazy shouty bands, Sharon Osbourne, also mother of fat kids and Charity Case Predator has admitted, she is tone deaf giving Simon more to worry about than the RSPCA knocking on his door after the recent Hope performance.

Sharon told our reporter Abdul "Yeah, what? WHAT? I can't hear you!!"... at this point we reverted to writing on a big white board since Sharon's eyesight was complete pants too.

"Yeah? me? Too much Ozzy love... Too much plastic seepage down through me sinuses into the ear canal. Can't be good..."

Sharon then led us to her chamber of hearing which we have photographed below (picture to arrive later after Abdul received it from the developers.



First we piped in Alisha. "Oh my GAWD!!! I relied upon Nicole for this! She sounds like Ozzy after a Vindaloo!!" Second was Emily... Lady Shiverz alright, that's scary. She sounds like a drill". We then showed her video footage of the stage shaking at Richter level 13.323 when Kimberley was on the stage - Sharon fainted, we contacter her plastic surgeon. He gave her botox, tummy tuck and a new nose and all was fine.

We then got to stroke the dogs.

More tomorrow!